Nancy and I visited with my aged mother this week. She is at a transition point in her 100 year old life, that being the imminent move to full scale nursing from assisted living. As a widow of 41 years, she has weathered several such moves up the care ladder from her own home to condo to HUD apartment, to assisted living, and now to nursing home. This one is different in that it is no doubt the last stop. She knows that. This week was decision time for my two siblings and I and our three mates. We all wanted to be on the same page, and we were (are). That alone is a gift from the Lord, and we know it too. The decision is that she will be moved. Up to now, many of you can relate, but the point of this story is coming now.
Mother needs to be told. At every one of the moves just described, she has been appropriately
sad, but in the end bowed to the advise of her children and was happy in the new place. That makes the telling even more important in my opinion, to preserve her dignity and gently but firmly move her to the next place. She is very tired and very deaf, so doesn't always catch what is going on or being said in the room. So at the right time, I pulled a chair close to her bed and announced I wanted to talk to her for a spell. She knew some new information would be imparted. She stared straight into my eyes and concentrated totally on what I was about to say. The look on her face is still with me. It was the most profound combination of concern and innocence and love and trust I have ever seen. It was kind of like a deer in the headlights thing but with unmistakeable trust.
It occurred to me later that this is what the Lord sees over and over again, as we want and do trust ourselves to Him, but still are concerned and even frightened at times. I believe the combination is OK with Him, as long as we trust in the end. That's what she did this week, and she will be better off letting us take care of things with the wider field of vision we have right now, rather than trying to second guess from a position of weakness. Sound familiar?
"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid." Is 12:2
4 comments:
Bob,
Having gone through this process with my parents I agree with the need for family unity and blessings of the Lord.
Those 2 are attained through open, honest family dialogue and open, honest prayer.
Be Blessed,
finn
What a gift to you and to her, Dad, that you were able to be the one to tell her, and that she trusts all of your love so much that she knows you will together make the best dicision for her.
I am so thankful for the example you and your siblings have been in caring for our sweet grandma.
Wish, wish, wish I could be there. Great analogy.
Never an easy thing to do but the Lord always give you the strength to do what no one wants to be done but what must be done.
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